It’s A. . .

Back in December, we shared a little announcement that our family was growing! We are overjoyed at God’s precious gift He’s given us. We are already over HALF WAY to meeting baby! Our 20-week ultrasound was last week, where we got to see our little one moving, clenching fists, waving arms, kicking legs, and it always blows my mind when you physically SEE them inside!!! The 4D images they have now are so crazy. To see their sweet little noses and features in so much detail like that, blows me away every time!

After our ultrasound appointment last week, we are overjoyed to share that baby #3 is a GIRL!!!! I’m still a little in shock. I was leaning towards boy, for really the only reason that Dakota was certain it was going to be a boy. So, when we both opened the little black envelope after our ultrasound appointment last week and saw the little pink booties inside the card… we were so surprised!!! 🙂

After the surprise/shock set in, the happy tears followed. We are so thankful to God for this precious baby girl who will join our family in June, Lord willing. It was such a joy getting to share in this experience with our other kiddos, especially since C is a little older now! She is getting better at recognizing words and knows her letters, so we let her open the envelope too and tell us what we were having, she loved it! Tommy doesn’t really understand that part fully, but he definitely understands mommy is having a baby as he will point and hug my belly and say “baby!!!”. We told the kids recently that the baby can start to hear and recognize our voices right now even inside mommy’s tummy, so they love leaning in and giving my tummy a big hug to say “hi, baby!” now :).

I am currently 21 weeks pregnant, and feeling great overall! This pregnancy has been very comparable to my first two as far as cravings and symptoms go, which, have always been very mild/minimal for me. I know this isn’t the case for many women! Aside from being much more noticeably tired this time around than I was with C + T, everything else has been pretty standard for me personally as far as pregnancies go!

With many similarities, this pregnancy has been different for me compared to my first two pregnancies in some ways though, given the fact that we experienced the loss of a baby last June due to an early pregnancy miscarriage. With a new, humble perspective on how very little control I have at sustaining precious little life in the womb, I have drawn nearer to God as the sustainer of all things, casting some new anxieties that have popped up during this pregnancy (mostly early on) on Him, because I know He cares for us, and He cares for this little one (1 Peter 5:7).

That also has played into how often/much I have shared about this pregnancy on my social channels, mostly IG. God has given me a new burden/empathy for women who have experienced the loss of a child – whether early miscarriage like myself, later pregnancy miscarriage, post-birth loss of a child, and for those who struggle with infertility and are still longing and waiting for God to answer their desperate cries in prayer for a child. Since experiencing a miscarriage, I too had felt those questions stir up in me at times in prayer… “Will I be able to get pregnant again? Is this God’s way of telling us that we were just meant to be a family of 4?” …but again, going back to the Truth found in God’s word during our season of suffering, I was quickly reminded while studying the book of Philippians last summer to think on things that are true… things that are real and happening right now, things that are pure, lovely, just, commendable, worthy of praise, and of excellence (see Philippians 4:8) and not be consumed by the what ifs that only bring anxiousness and discontentment in the place where God has us now.

So, while we are overjoyed with our happy news. We always remember the loss of our little one back in June, and as we remember and continue to grieve in new ways over that loss of life, we honor that life and thank God for that life, and thank God for the life of this little lady growing inside of me now. God turns our sorrow into joy, mourning into gladness, death into life. He can, and does, take impossibly difficult circumstances and turn them into triumphs. I am thankful for both our time of suffering and our current time of rejoicing, knowing He is sovereign over ALL circumstances we face in life! I pray that as you read these words, you would be encouraged in whatever season or circumstance He has you in right now or as you look back at previous seasons of suffering and loss.

¹⁰ I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. ¹¹ Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. ¹² I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. ¹³ I can do all things through him who strengthens me. -Philippians 4:10-13.

with love,

from courtney